Happy Festivus

Family activities won out this year on Festivus. Although a few grievences were aired with short stack tonight...let's hope I get pinned later. Sorry I could not make it to Cowtown for the big bash but here's hoping the spirit of Festivus finds you all well and properly pissed. Me...I'm up $78 on Party Poker and on my 6th Dos XX!

Intelligent Design Classes to be Offered

Texas A&M University officials announced this week that a new course has been approved for next year. After several months of planning by the faculty and student senate, the new pyrotechnical engineering course is to be offered in the Fall of 2006. To be referred to as "Intelligent Design for the 21st Century Aggie", the course will focus on building a better, yet smaller and safer Aggie Bonfire.

Vice Chancellor of Engineering Dr. Kemble Bennett believes the new course will fill a void in the A&M community. "After the tragedy of 1994, the A&M family has searched for something to replace the bonfire tradition. We believe this course will move us into the right direction."

The basics of the course rely heavily on a variation of a children's toy Lincoln Logs. "By simply implementing pyrotechnics to the already proven product, we believe Aggies both young and old will be able to enjoy the bonfire tradition from the safety of their own backyards" Dr. Bennett continued.

Although not tall enough to crush any of the prospective drunken engineers, Hasbro, the parent company of Lincoln Logs has filed an injunction to stop the class from being printed in the course offerings book. "Intelligent Design or not, we believe that there is no time or place to combine our product with drunkenness and kerosene" said Lauren Key, head marketing for Hasbro.

Druids Routed In School Board Election

In what could produce ripples through the national educational system, voters in Maine have ousted over 2,000 years of educational doctrine. In a vote of no-confidence, locals have voted out the Druid majority from local school boards. In an overwhelming vote, the communities of Samhain and Cuithe have decided that the time has come to end the Druidian stronghold over their communities.

These communities as well as others scattered across the northeastern seaboard have seen a rapid decrease in Druidian representation. Starting with the defeat of 237 time elected mayor Gaelen the Round of Bath, the Druidian influence has taken a dramatic downturn. "We were simply looking for a different, more enlightened approach to education" said Pierre DeMarco, head of the Samhain Parent Teacher Association.

Under the Druidian school system, students were forced to learn topics like metallurgy, herpetology, stonemasonry and astrology. Senior Douglas Young believed the Druid curriculum was a valuable addition to his core classes. "I don't see what the big deal is. It's not like we killed dogs or anything." The use of canines for incantations was replaced by felines in the late 1720's.

The news could not have come at a worse time for the Druid community. "We're all pretty tired from the Solstice Ceremony and concert and then we get this news. Everyone is a bit disoriented by these turn of events", said Nigel Tufnel, founder of the band Spinal Tap and Northern 35th Level Druid. When asked about the future for the Druids in Maine education, Tufnel added, "We'll just have to see how the bones fall but we are not ruling out litigation."

Iraqi Still Behind In Healthcare

After a year and a half of American military control in Iraq many are still feeling left behind in many areas. Most areas have had electrical and water services restored yet basic medical care has been left to the Iraqis to build from the bottom up.

Many Iraqis have resorted to using home remedies as well as performing medical procedures that are usually handled by professional medical personnel. In possibly the largest example of this would be the recent rise of proctology exams.

Election officials and sociologists are baffled by the correlation of recent voting activity in Iraq with the sudden rise of proctology exams. Dr. Valery Edwabny, head of Anal Studies at the University of Vienna said, "It is unlikely there is that large of a sphincter issue among the Iraqi people. This may be a strong indicator of a greater health problem in Iraq."Health officials are most concerned with the lack of proper hand covering during the procedure.

The tell-tell sign of an unprotected examination is a purple-bluish index finger. "Many are wearing it as a badge of honor" said Adel al-Lami, Head of the Iraqi Health Department. "If we do not control the issue, we may have greater problems to deal with in the future."

Silent Majority Still Not Understood

In an attempt to take back America, the silent majority is looking to have their voices heard. After decades of being pushed around by others in their places of work, the city square and other public areas, "voiceless" people are looking to take a more aggressive stance in the public scene.

Sometimes referred to as "mimes", these people have been in the shadows of the American experience for decades. Alienated for their stances on politics and enclosed spaces, these often misunderstood individuals are now attempting to make their voices heard. "It's time we speak up for our way of life" said Barry Wallace, co-founder of Silent Majority of Mimes. "We are tired of letting others assert their way of life on us. It's time we pushed back!"

Attempts are being made to encourage registration and voter turn-out, and to educate mimes on their ability to conduct non-partisan registration drives without incurring the wrath of the IRS. Jugglers and magicians are taking the new changes to the streets in stride. "It just seems that they are undermining their own way of life, but leave it to the mimes to not understand reality" said juggler Yuri Garcia.

Put Christ Back in Christbox

The latest salvo has been fired in the culture wars, this time by James Dobson. The founder and chairman of the board for Focus on the Family has announced the latest initiative set forth by his Christian based organization. On his daily radio talk show, Dobson encouraged his listeners to boycott the letter "X" until the American public "fully appreciates the power of the Christian community."

The controversy surrounds the unwillingness by Microsoft the replace the "X" on it's popular video game console Xbox with what Dobson believes should be "Christ". Dobson stated on his nationally syndicated radio program that, "everyone knows this is just another attack on the Christians of this land. If Microsoft will not put Christ back in Xbox, then we will have to take the X away from them!"

The plan calls for a national referendum on replacing the letter "X" with the word "Christ" with a potential Constitutional Amendment on the horizon. "Unless the good Christians of this land stand up for their rights, they will eventually erode away. We must take our stand on this issue now before the liberals destroy any more of our way of life" Dobson concluded on Thursday.

An expansion on the basic plan will call for the boycott of "eXtra" gum and "EXTRA", the entertainment TV program. Some are concerned with what this will mean in the long run. "When my kids wander into a "Christ, Christ, Christ" video store, they may be exposed to material that is less that Godly" stated Bill Parrish, head of Children First, a child advocacy program at the University of Notre Dame.

Two Flags over Iraq to Open in Spring

Construction Begins on Two Flags over Iraq

Since taking over the Six Flags Corporation 24 hours ago, new CEO Mark Shapiro has announced the largest changes to the second largest theme park company in the world. Plans are for the construction of the first Western amusement park in the Middle East. Although not the first venture for the Six Flags Corporation outside the United States, it will be the first in the region known more for rocket attacks than rollercoasters.

Two Flags Over Iraq will be the first of potentially 3 new parks in the region. The other two parks are to be located in Iran and Syria after the invasion of United States forces in the spring. The site of the Iraqi park is slated for the Sunni enclave of Tikrit, the hometown of former Iraqi President Saddam Hussein.

Iraqi Recreation and Tourism Minister and Mayor of Tikrit, Wael Ibrahim Ali, believes that the addition of the new park will pave the way for Democracy in Iraq. "Distracting the young people from the realities of their lives is the key to Democracy" Ali said in a noon press conference Wednesday. With plans to build a water park near the amusement facility in the next 3 years, Tikrik may be the center of Sunni entertainment by the end of the decade.

Mishaan al-Jubouri, Middle East Theme Coordinator for Six Flags Operation, said that there will be more of a Sunni flair to the park. From the "Camel Rally Iraq" area which will mirror the more familiar NASCAR theme in the southern United States to more macabre theme of "Kurdistan Land" where rides will center around the gassing of the hated Kurdish minority. "We understand that the park is not for everyone" conceded al-Jubouri when asked about the more hateful themes. "We are making this park truly Iraqi. This is who we are."

Although the park will not allow women, children, Kurds, Armenians, Persians, Assyrians, Israelis or Mexicans, it is expected to bring in much needed income to the Tikrit region.

War on Christmas Escalates

A sudden spark in hostilities as thrown the world into conflict this week. A Declaration of War was delivered to St. Nicholas by the Foreign Minister of Nunavut laying out the intentions of several hostile Inuet tribes to war against Christmas. Inuet tribes are accusing the jolly elf of over aggressive border movements by reindeer in the area. It is unknown whether or not these movements are tantamount to war by the international community but violence has erupted along a 2,000 mile border between the state of Nunavut and the North Pole.

St. Nicholas, Prime Minister of the North Pole has asked for the United Nations to send in peace keeping forces to the region but it is doubtful that the Security Council will make a decision before the the New Year. Most ambassadors have been implicated in a scandal involving the promises to be good and bribing of cookies and milk for presents from Santa. With the UN in an uneasy situation and most ambassadors already out of New York for the Christmas holiday, it is unlikely they will be able to return before the upcoming deadline for hostilities.

The United States is debating the possibility of unilaterally intervening in the conflict. Members of the Senate Committee on Foreign Relations met in a closed door meeting on Tuesday to discuss it's options. Ranking members were rumored to be discussing the use US veterans from the Iraqi war to save Christmas. With continued pressure mounting by business leaders and religious interests in certain swing states, it is likely that a joint resolution to use military force will be announced by the end of the week.

Hasta La Vista Baby

Stanley "Tookie" Williams, the award winning author, notorious co-founder of the "Crips" and convicted murderer died last night in San Quentin, California. What was to be death by lethal injection is now clouded in mystery as rumors are circulating that Williams did not die from the lethal injection but from massive blows to the head and internal bleeding.

A manditory autopsy was performed on Williams after the now alledged execution. The results show that the cause of death was not sodium pentathol but that Williams suffered several blows to the head with a blunt object as well as lacerations to his liver and kidneys. It is widely known that the Governor of California, Arnold Schwarzenegger and former Mr. Olympia had entertained a possible alternative to the standard State performed lethal injection. It seems as though "Tookie" had challenged the Governor to a winner take all steel cage death match.

Gov. Schwarzenegger was unavailable for comment but reports are coming in that the governor has checked into a Palm Springs Spa and resort to recuperate after the alledged Battle Royale.

Democracy Flourishes In Iraq

Iraqi's will go to the polls Thursday to cast ballots for the first time in over 3 decades for a freely elected parliment. In signs that Iraq is embracing American democracy, the campaign for Anbhr Province heated up with a vicious exchange between candidates. On the Sunday morning talkshow Baghdad This Week, candidate Yousif Jabr of the People's Recently Independent Reformed Executioners Party stated that his opponent, "couldn't eat with his left hand if he wanted to!"

Jabr's main competition is the Populist candidate from the oil rich community of Kirkuk, Ibrahim Khalilzad. It is widely known that Khalilzad was a supporter of the American liberation movement, which may cost him in the rural district but it is believed that his pro-western toilet initiative will be popular in the urban centers. Khalilzad defeated Mahmoud McDahlid, who's real estate holdings were called into question during the primary debate.

As the rhetoric heated up between the two candidates, Khalilzad commented that, "there is no way that the people should be represented by a man who has only daughters." Jabr is the father of 3 daughters but has no sons, which may prove to be the decisive factor in this heated contest for the Sunni dominanted stronghold.

Salvation Army to Take On New Responsibilities

Announcing his "new and improved" revamping of the military, President Bush this morning outlined his plan to restructure the U.S. military to be more in line with his administrations world view.

In a speech delivered to the Armed Services Committee and the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Bush stated the need to overhaul a failing apparatus. "I'm a war President. I make decisions here in the Oval Office in foreign policy matters with war on my mind" stated Bush. His new decision will be the widest reaching shift in the American military since the Washington administration. At the core of the new plan is placing the bulk of military responsibilities with the Salvation Army.

"They already have the infrastructure to handle the basic beliefs of this administration, they just need better uniforms and weapons" a senior White House official added. Also slated as a part of this restructuring will be the completion of a new headquarters for military programs. For decades, the Pentagon has served as the nerve center for U.S. military operations but as a part of Operation Guarding Over Democracy, the outdated and blasphemous structure will be rebuilt into something more "architecturally appropriate for our way of life." The new 75 acre cross shaped headquarters is slated to be completed by the 2007 primaries.

Imagine

No words today. Only memories.

Hussein Declares, "BCS = Big Camel Shite"

In a sudden turn of events in the war crimes trial of Saddam Hussein, the defendent yesterday stated his distrust in the infidels ability to decide a National Champion. Although widely known as a lifelong University of Texas fan, Hussein voiced his discomfort in supporting the BCS regime, even though it is placing his beloved Longhorns in the national championship game. "How can we place our trust in the beast of the infidel?" Hussein was referring to the process in which computers are used to help determine the top two teams in Division I football. Hussein continued, "If the Prophet (peace be upon him) were here to see this, He would call down a cloud of locusts to devour those who stand in the way of a playoff system!!!"

Many of the jurors seemed to nod in approval as the former President of Iraq laid out his plan for the NCAA. "You are either for a playoff system or you are with the evildoers" Saddam proclaimed as he took his seat in defiance. It's unclear whether or not representatives of the NCAA or the Bowl Selection Committees were in attendance on Tuesday but there has been speculations of an 11th hour appeal on behalf of Penn State to institute a Fatwah against the Rose Bowl committee.

South Plains Mall to Offer "The Lap of Jesus"

This Christmas, your child is invited to "Sit on the lap of the Lord, Jesus Christ".

Instead of having your child ask that fat red demon, Santa to shower them with undeserved gifts for Christmas, have your child beg Jesus to forgive them of their filthy sins!

Join us in saying, "NO!" to Santa and "YES!" to Jesus, then seal your verbal commitment with a framed photograph for only $48.99*.

*Take home a holiday memory your Christian family will cherish for many years to come!

After sitting on Jesus' lap and confessing their sins, parents are asked to explain to their children that the Lord is gifted with the ability to be omnipresent. Thus, there is no need for them to be upset when they see other Jesuses walking around the mall.

In addition, to account for long waits and to allow for ample time for Christmas shopping, Jesus will be appearing simultaneously at the Kingsgate Shopping Center in front of The Love Shoppe. And for those in the lower income bracket, please visit Jesus outside the United Supermarket on 2nd and University.

Who WiIl We Serve?

For most West Texans, Sundays are the same. Sitting patiently as our pastor hits his third point, nervously looking at our watches, wondering if we will miss all of the 1st quarter of the Cowboys game. In West Texas, most will say there is only one true God, but when push comes to shove, we will admit that we serve two masters.

Football and God are interwoven into the very genetic make-up of people from West Texas. It was only a few years ago when several West Texas towns were caught up into a legal battle on the issue of organized school prayer before football games. Some even thought of canceling games if they were not allowed to continue. But when cooler heads prevailed, the games would go on, prayer would not.

When the Texas Department of Transportation (TxDot) began breaking ground for the Marsha Sharp Freeway (insert joke here), they could never imagine the public outcry and criminal activity that was about to take place. As a part of the largest road construction project in the state of Texas, the plans called for artwork of local "icons" to be placed around the newly constructed facades of the freeway. A major centerpiece of these icons became known as "windyman".

For anyone who has spent any time in West Texas knows, one thing you can always count on is bowl eligibility and WIND! Wind is as much of an icon here as Buddy Holly's glasses, gun racks and Stangle Beach (speaking of racks). What was surprising was the complete uproar that occurred when the first icon was placed on the freeway. The venom that spewed on the pages of the local paper from outraged citizens read like the final seal had been broken and the 4 Horsemen were upon us. Locals penned letters day after day voicing their outrage of these "idols" being placed with their tax money. Some self-proclaimed "hammer of God" even took to vandalizing the helpless stone. Somehow, their very faith was being shredded by the installment of an "icon".

If only TxDot had been in tune with the people of West Texas so as to avoid this tragic turn of events. If they would have only studied the culture of the people, understood their way of life so as not to offend with their graphic and blatant hindering of the people beliefs. So my solution is very simple. "Windyman" should be removed permanently, and replaced with something that will be more culturally satisfying to the God fearing people of West Texas. Behold, "God's Team Man".

Question of the Weekend

Watching the Big XII Championship makes me feel like ___________________.

Deportations Set to Begin

After a flurry of rumors circulating over the last few weeks, the deportation of the "non-outraged" has begun. Starting with the "eduKated", citizens are now being transported to re-education facilities around the region. Many are scoffing at the sudden move by the "man", believing that this is just a normal set of circumstances. But Tierd Ferguson, 35, of North Korea believes something else is afoot. "My Great-Grandparents witnessed these same things. I never dreamed that my children would ever see such events unfold, but my nightmare has come to pass."

Maria Otero, Komandant of the Texico Undesirable Relocation District stated late yesterday that, "we are simply assisting in a greater organized effort to assimilate the lemmings of our community to a better way of living." The TURD facility is expecting to accommodate up to 5,000 "non-outraged" by the end of the year, with plans to expand into nearby Melrose within the first quarter of next year.

In an attempt to resist the new aggressive tacticts of the man, citizens are now simply looking the other way when approaching the "paper-checking" units now placed in the entry way of these facilities. But one can only speculate that outbreaks of violence will continue as was witnessed last week. With single slogans like, "We Have the Lowest Prices" blaring from the intercom, citizens are now encouraged to leave all individualism behind and enjoy their detention.

*originally posted on techsanlounge.blogspot.com

A Tradition Not Worth Dying For

Many of my non-Red Raider amigos like to boast about their beloved traditions from their respective alma-matars. From coaches endorsing team gang bangs at Colorado to drunken pyrotechnics at A&M, everyone has their favorite, but for this Red Raider, my favorite happens tonight.

Tonight on the campus of Texas Tech University will be the 47th Annual Celebration of the Carol of Lights. Not only a Tech tradition but also a Lubbock one. Even my Teasipper and Aggie friends plan on attending this Tech tradition. Starting officially on 1961 but with roots in a tradition from the 1950's, the Carol of Lights is truly a Tech experience. 20,000 of your closest friends and alums converge on the Math & Science Wing to sing, scream and watch the procession of the Saddle Tramps with their really cool melting fire sticks!

But for me, the best part of the experience ended last year. Many carols are performed by the Texas Tech Chorale Department but the climax of the event for many years was the singing of "Oh Holy Night" by a member of the music faculty. The gentleman's name escapes me, but the deep, rich tones of this mans voice could bring a tear to even the dumbest Aggie. This man retired last year and this will be the first year with a new voice. I'm sure it will be perfectly performed, but it will never be the same for me.

Now when I think of the best Tech tradition, it is Carol of Light. But would I be willing to die for this tradition? The answer is no way in Hell would that happen. Now, my Aggie friends will disagree and say otherwise. So tonight, wrap your kids up tight, pack the thermos and enjoy the festivities. I promise, no one will be killed or sexually assaulted as a result. Now that's what I call a tradition not worth dying for!

My Top 100 Bands of All Time

Periodically, yo az needs to be enlightened. Thus, the cultural portion of the blog. I will attempt to compile the definitive list and review of the Top 100 Bands of All Time. These will be in no particular order since they are all #1 in my heart.

#100 Al Foxx
Don't let the homeless look distract you from the subtle casio keyboard tunes of our first entry. Al has been entertaining the hungry and the Catholics every Friday for over a decade at the Native Texan in Lubbock, Texas. Who can resist the all you can eat catfish and the delightful sounds of one of America's most pickled talent. A recent patron of the Texan, as locals call it, recalled his memories of Al. "We really wanted him to play at our wedding until we found out that he's philosophically opposed to marriage. When we told him that there would be all the little smokies and miniature bottles of vodka he could consume, he changed his tune real quick." So if you are ever cruising down Slide and have a pain for some saturated fat and heartfelt music, the Native Texan and Al Foxx should be your destination.

Defibulator not included
Definitive Song: King of the Road

Who's Your Mike?

I want to believe. I really do, but don't we all know someone like Mike? He's that pal that you can't help but love. He is usually very loud, very wrong about everything he's loud about, but he's still someone you can't seem to afford not having around. "Mike" is the guy that continues to mess his life up even though he's probably the smartest, most talented person you have ever met. He's the guy that you want to succeed, but seems to always mess up the best of every situation. From jobs to relationships, he's the dude that just can't avoid screwing it up.
But at what point to we give up on "Mike"? As we get older and have families and careers, it becomes harder to understand "Mike". Everyone else seems to have gotten their acts together but then there is "Mike". From one minute to the next, you don't know if he's on suicide watch or going to be named to the hall of fame.
But why do we need him around? Because he's your hombre. He's your kemosabe. He's your friend. I believe Mike like George Bush believes there are WMD's in Iraq. You really, really want to believe...but you know way back in the recesses of your soul that they just aren't there...and you can't seem to ever face that reality.
But I hope the best for Mike and for "Mike". We need them around to entertain us, to make us laugh, to piss us off...and above all, to be our amigo!

Jesus Doesn't Need An XBox

Every Sunday morning as a child was the same. I would wake to an awesome breakfast that my mom had made for the family. After devouring the feast, I would take my heavy blanket that my grandmother had made by hand and curl up on the couch to catch a few more winks before church. My father would be sitting in his chair studying his sunday school lesson as The Old Time Gospel Hour would be tuned in on the tube. I was always into watching the service. The music leader had the most incredibly high tenor voice. It would give me goosebumps to hear him hit those atmospheric notes. I was also captivated by the little oval in the bottom corner of the screen, where a woman with her hair in a beehive style would sign to those who could not hear the music or the message. And then, it was showtime! The man himself would rise up and deliver some of the most fiery sermons one could hear. Of course the man was Jerry Falwell. The man who is single-handedly out to destroy the things that he loves so much.
Last night I was flipping around the "news" stations when I came across Rev. Falwell talking about how Christmas was being destroyed by the Democrats. After I pulled my tongue back in my mouth, I began to really try to understand what exactly he was talking about. His argument is one that some of the politically "religious" like to bring up each Christmas. They site examples of people being restricted from singing religious songs at school or communities that are banning nativity scenes on courthouse lawns. Although these things are surely happening, it's not because Christianity is under attack. It's because Christians have failed to do what Christians have been called to do.
The greatest commandment is to love your neighbor as yourself...and guys like Rev. Falwell just don't get it. We are living in a world where everyone is out to screw the opposition. And Christians have fallen into that trap. Instead of loving our neighbors, we are deciding who's career we are going to ruin to get ahead and which country we are going to invade so our portfolios continue to grow. This is about as far from loving your neighbor as Christ could ever imagine.
And so I began to imagine just what would Christ think about all of this. Would Christ be beating down the doors of WalMart on "Black Friday" to grab the latest sales? Would He be all that interested in whether or not there was a nativity scene on the courthouse square? I bet the biggest rock in His sandal would be whether or not we are taking care of each other instead of trying to rip each other apart because of our political ideology or that my country has oil...or not.
So here's my advice to Christians that are all geeked up about not singing Silent Night at school or ready to firebomb their local Democratic Headquarters because the Nativity scene was taken down at City Hall. Love one another. Love your neighbor. Love your family. Christ doesn't need another XBox!

A Tour of Scurry Co.

To know a man, you need to know what makes him. For me, I am a proud Texas born in Snyder, Texas. My family has been in Scurry Co. for over 100 years going back to my grandparents and great-grandparents. The land is beautiful, rich and has made me who I am today. My mom was born in Camp Springs, a part of the greater Snyder metro area. With a population of about 15 today, we still have land out and around this area.
If you are a Texan, you are truly proud of where you came from. So what is it that makes us a one of a kind breed? It's the sky, the dirt, the wind and the way of life that makes us Texan. I've seen a lot of places in the world, and will hopefully see more of it, but there is only one place that is Texas. Only a Texan can look out the window like I did yesterday and see the dirt blowing across the sky at almost 60 miles an hour and thank God that you live here! The long distances between towns makes everyone on the road a long lost friend. With the friendly index finger lifted skyward as you pass a lone truck on a desolate farm road, we pass and then stare into the blank horizon and the long ribbon of blacktop in front of us with only a Willie Nelson tune and our faithful pooch to keep us company. We are Texan.
We see the sky different out here. There is only one Texas sunset...and it's not seen in Dallas, or Austin, or Houston. Only from West Texas can you really see a Texas sunset. And it's especially pronounced in the winter time. As the sun moves low on the southern horizon, streaks of color only found on God's palette are smeared across the sky, unencumbered by trees, tall buildings or smog. It's in the crispness of a west Texas winter afternoon that the sky is really seen. This is Texas. This is me.

Can January Get Here Any Faster?

When will Jan. 2 get here? This is me and Kingfish from one year ago. We are surviving on about 5 hours of sleep and cruising down from LA to San Diego to see the beloved Red Raiders. What a crazy year it has been!
Bowl Bound Baby!

Thank God for LUBBOCK!

Now don't get me wrong, the metroplex is awesome. From the trees to the traffic...it's the total shizz, but there is only one Hubcity. After our thanksgiving trip to the Gopherville, we made our way back to Lubbock this afternoon, after a pit-stop in Snyder of course! We arrived to a crisp afternoon with the sun low on the horizon, the wind howling out of the NW, and two very HAPPY puppy dogs! The metro is a great place to see, visit, shop and hang with Kingfish but it sure is nice to leave and get back to good old Lubbock. I tell you, let Austin be weird, let Houston be humid and let the metroplex continue to provide Lubbock with some outstanding talent...and for God sakes...Keep Lubbock Flat! (Hat tip to Kingfish)

Rockin Cowtown Show Ya Right Now!!!

Well, it was a banner day. Shortstack decided that the wee ones needed a day at the Ft. Worth Zoo. Her sister (the one "married" to the aggot) decided to be an AWESOME aunt and go along with the kiddos. So what should Helmut do? Why of course! Go hang with Kingfish all day and watch the football!
What shour have been a torar kick in da donrey barrs, the Whorns actually need the entire game to finish off the aggots. The perfect scenerio, after Neb took care of Col in the late game would be ISU taking the Whorns to the shed next weekend, Whorns dropping to Cotton where a madder than hell LSU, coming off their own defeat in the SEC championship completely Bengals the Whorns on Jan. 2!
And where do the Red Raiders end up? The BCS throws them a bone to the Fiesta where they route the Irish!
Ah...to dream the impossible!
See you Bama turds in a month....byaaaatch!
Oh, and did I mention the incredible fish at the Ocean Rock in Ft. Worth? The owner is an awesome dude. He's a '75 Tech grad with a long history in Lubbock. Torarry awesome atmosphere with torrary awesome blackened salmon! Kingfish and I are looking at hosting the "Keep Lubbock Flat" bash there next year before the TCU game.

Peckerhead Brother-in-Laws

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Turkey Day

The Casbah

Happy Thanksgiving Yo!
All are healthy and bright in the GP this morning. We've got the parade on the televizzle and the turkey in the ovenizzle...what can I say, it's ALL GOOD!
Can't wait to see the Broys torrary kick the Broncos arr over Trexas Stradium tris afernoon. Although my AFC team of choice is Denver, I am a Texan...born and raised. There is no other choice.
COWBOYS...DO OR DIE!!!

Where Noise Comes to Die!

Welcome to the blue bus!
There's room for all!